Deep Dark before the Light

Winter Solstice 2019 — the deep dark (here in Canada) before the return of the light. As I write this morning, the sky is just beginning to brighten. All is quiet, unless you count the hum of household systems. Peace and coffee.

2019 has been a transformation year for me. Transformation isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Seven months of Bright Line Eating to reach my right-sized body. Six months now of maintaining. Two years since deciding to have genetic testing for breast cancer risk. A year and a half since learning I’m BRCA2+. Two preventive surgeries in 2019. Four months of slow recovery from the second one.

Seven years since I finally accepted that I was called to ministry with the United Church of Canada. Two years of study with United Theological College, graduating just as I was turning 60. Then in May 2019, I was ordained — Rev Alice Finnamore. I saw my last two psychology clients in October. Officially I hang up that professional designation on Dec 31, and continue in ministry with Prince William Pastoral Charge, where I have been since 2016.

Transformation does not happen overnight. This morning I received an email about global transformation. Aluna Joy reminds me of how we dreaded Dec 21, 2012, seven years ago, as if our entire existence would shift when the clock ticked past midnight.

We woke up the next morning and everything looked the same. But transformation does NOT happen overnight. We expected either mass destruction or instant utopia, but the sun simply rose as usual. Aluna Joy wrote today about global detox and global renewal — slow transformation on a different level than my own 2019 transformation.

I am still changing. As I wrote yesterday, I can’t be or do just one thing at a time. My soul is multi-faceted. The Light comes through this prism of Alice in distinct and various ways. I’m excited about tomorrow. The days will get longer here, bit by bit. Spring returns. Rejoice this Winter Solstice, and notice how you too are transforming.

Published by dreambringer

Recently retired from a career in private practice psychology. Newly ordained to ministry in the United Church of Canada. Mother, grandmother, dreamer, writer.

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