Deep Dark before the Light

Winter Solstice 2019 — the deep dark (here in Canada) before the return of the light. As I write this morning, the sky is just beginning to brighten. All is quiet, unless you count the hum of household systems. Peace and coffee.

2019 has been a transformation year for me. Transformation isn’t easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Seven months of Bright Line Eating to reach my right-sized body. Six months now of maintaining. Two years since deciding to have genetic testing for breast cancer risk. A year and a half since learning I’m BRCA2+. Two preventive surgeries in 2019. Four months of slow recovery from the second one.

Seven years since I finally accepted that I was called to ministry with the United Church of Canada. Two years of study with United Theological College, graduating just as I was turning 60. Then in May 2019, I was ordained — Rev Alice Finnamore. I saw my last two psychology clients in October. Officially I hang up that professional designation on Dec 31, and continue in ministry with Prince William Pastoral Charge, where I have been since 2016.

Transformation does not happen overnight. This morning I received an email about global transformation. Aluna Joy reminds me of how we dreaded Dec 21, 2012, seven years ago, as if our entire existence would shift when the clock ticked past midnight.

We woke up the next morning and everything looked the same. But transformation does NOT happen overnight. We expected either mass destruction or instant utopia, but the sun simply rose as usual. Aluna Joy wrote today about global detox and global renewal — slow transformation on a different level than my own 2019 transformation.

I am still changing. As I wrote yesterday, I can’t be or do just one thing at a time. My soul is multi-faceted. The Light comes through this prism of Alice in distinct and various ways. I’m excited about tomorrow. The days will get longer here, bit by bit. Spring returns. Rejoice this Winter Solstice, and notice how you too are transforming.

This is NOT my first blog post

Dream Bringer’s Studio has been around for a long time, even before I started blogging in 2010. I was a professional and business owner, but being Gemini, I was never one to do just one thing at a time. I was also a writer, workshop leader, and dream teacher.

I birthed Dream Bringer’s Studio to house all my other interests, but my professional colleagues were confused by my multiplicity. So was an insurance company that paid for my professional services. To clear the air and settle the muddy waters, I took down my website, stopped blogging, and began the search in earnest for a life that would allow me more freedom. It took a while.

2019 has been my year of transformation. I expect I will be writing about that. I’ve saved all my old blog posts. They will likely show up in here too from time to time.

But for now, imagine me in my kitchen years ago, wondering what I would call my new endeavour. “Dream Bringer” was a name gifted on me by Robert Moss, who trained me in dreaming well. He saw me as one who could manifest a dream into waking reality. So there I was, in my kitchen, sweeping and thinking. Music was playing, and my heart was light with wonderment.

It felt like a dance, and the words “Dream Bringer’s Studio” popped into my head—a place to dance and create, both with words and with the hearts of the people I met. And so, Dream Bringer’s Studio was born, right there, with the dancing broom.